OTTERS Farm Club…Desert Dogs

By Richard Cranium

After last Wednesday’s stellar performance from the Desert Dogs, Otter GM Aden Nolet is expecting big things from the developmental team.

“The team was real hot in a 4-2 win over the Suns which were heavily laddened with good subs,” said Nolet over the phone. “We have eight holdovers from last season and Kip Walker rejoins us after a brief stint with last season’s Camels.”

Nolet said that Bo Daly, Jules Nolet, Gary Ahern, David Warner, all of the parent Otters are playing with veteran players Juha Punnonen, Tirso, Junwei Bao and Mark Wong-VanHaren. New faces to the team are Pat Piazza, Hap Leonard, David Curran, Jeremy Wilkinson and goalie Marc Rogers, all pictured here.





“I like the look of this team,” voiced stellar defenseperson Jules Nolet. “The four of us Otters play Wednesdays so we can get a close look at the talent coming up. I also like to play this night after cleaning my house. It kind of clears my head of the fumes from the toilet, bath and tile cleaners.”

Nolet went rambling on, “Hey did I tell you of my patent of high heel sneakers. One day I was looking up and saw these sneakers hanging over electrical lines and thought about the kids who did it. They were probably wearing those wheelie sneakers so I got to thinking maybe I could invent a sneaker that had a secret compartment for stiletto heels. The upper crust women on the peninsula could be soccer moms during the day and cocktail party goers at night. They would never have to change shoes! They go great with black dresses too!”



Nolet gave way too much information on this subject by adding she was having them made in China by poor people so she could make a bundle of money.

At that point GM Nolet interjected, “My mom gets a little wound up when dad is gone for long periods of time and since I’m only five I don’t quite understand that.”

GM Nolet went back to praising the team by saying Juha “the Finnish Terror” had another intense game after missing the season opener.


“I really wanted to play the first game of the season,” said Punnonen, “but I couldn’t find my skates. I went home after the last consolation game and threw my equipment everywhere because I was upset we didn’t make it to the Keg game.” Punnonen did go on to say that he did find his skates when he looked up one day and saw them stuck in the ceiling of his garage.

Nolet was happy with Tirso’s performance when he scored one goal but is very concerned about the speedy latino’s bad back. “We may have to put him on the 30 day injured reserve list and try to bring someone in to fill his spot,” said Nolet.


Nolet was also very pleased with the game of goalie Marc Rogers. He stopped all Sun’s shots except one and let his own teammate Bo Daly put one past him.

“I really want to step up my play for this team,” said Rogers, “the management here pulls the trigger quickly and trades poor performers. I’m looking on moving up to Fridays, Tuesdays or Sundays.”

The Otters have come up with a new wrinkle. All teams have managers, coaches, trainers, stick boys and groupies but the Otters have brought on board a player/shrink

“I think we are the only hockey team at any level that has a player/shrink,” explained Nolet. “Jeremy Wilkinson M.D. not only plays a good game but adds insight into how each player’s mind works.”

“I started out working with the player that seemed to have the least amount of problems,” said Wilkinson, “that would be Junwei Bao whose only issue was that he thought he was the reincarnation of Bruce Lee. He seems to have let that go and is now ready to play after missing the first two games.”

Wilkinson also said there a great deal of characters on this team who are delusional and need to see him soon at the San Mateo County hospital. “I heard that this is just the tip of the iceberg and the big time problems are on the Otters. They have guys there that think they are The Great White Hunter, Casanova, Baryshnikov, Igor Larionov and one guy thinks he is Jesus Christ.”

More will follow in future columns.