There were many questions circulating online on the numerous blog sites that closely follow the Otter Hockey Club, concerning Alan Nolet’s absence at the Stanley Keg Final. The official report from Otter General Manager, Aden Nolet, was that “Alan was away on a hunting trip”. Although upon his return, Alan was unable to produce any fruits from his efforts claiming that they were, once again “skunked”.
It seems quite odd that an experienced hunter, using the latest in high-tech laser guided equipment would, once again, show up empty handed. Especially when this reporter was able to snap these images of successful hunters leaving the same exact area Alan claimed to be hunting.
It made me start to think. I am not a conspiracy theorist by nature, and have always found Otter Management to be truthful and honest. But this event has got me puzzled. Could it just be a case of nepotism, and Aden is simply covering for his father?
Well after a night of excessive drinking and some quite unusual “intimate contact” this reporter was able coerce the following personal video out of the (quite chubby and hairy) hands of very reliable source. Lets refer to her as Nurse Ratchet.
The video obtained, aptly named “Manhole”….yah, of course... , shows the result of Alan’s well publicized & documented recent colonoscopy (Otter Public Service Announcement). What the video also shows is, what I believe, to be the reason that Alan missed the championship game.
I think it is clear now that Alan was not out hunting, as claimed” but had been secretly admitted to the VERY exclusive Richard Gere Clinic on a remote South-East Asia island. Heavily shrouded in mystery, I have discovered that this clinic specializes in the removal of rodents and amphibians from the human body.
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