Levi Johnston tryout

by Richard Cranium

Otter GM Aden Nolet announced today that Alaskan native Levi Johnston will have a tryout with the Otters. Johnston and Bristol Palin, daughter of Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin, are expecting their first child in late December.


"A representative of the Republican Party contacted me last night," said Nolet. "He said they needed a hockey team to put Johnston on for his senior year in high school before they bought him an undergraduate spot at Stanford."

Johnston is an 18 year old superhunky bad-boy ice hockey player from cold country. Besides his hard play on the ice, Levi Johnston is also a bit of a hell-raiser off it. State troopers popped Johnston last year for snagging some king salmon out of season in Moose Lake, records from Alaska wildlife enforcement show. He had to pay $370 bail.

On his MySpace page, Johnston proudly declares: "I'm a f---in' redneck."

"I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing," he says on the site.

He also warns that if anyone messes with him, "I'll kick ass.”

On the part where it asks about children, he wrote, "I don't want kids."

Nolet went on to say, “Johnston shoots left like most of our team and has young legs. Our youngest player currently is my mom at 35. If we don’t do well in this season’s playoffs, I’m afraid my job is in jeopardy so I need to bring in the younger guys.”

It is still unclear on why the Otters’ management was contacted. It is quite possible the republican party used their mailing list to find a “local” mentor who plays hockey, hunts and fishes.


“Whatever the reason is, I think this is a good move for the Otters and Johnston,” added Nolet. “We have plenty of room at our house for Levi, Bristol and their kid. My dad and I will have another recon guy for checking out the neighbors. For my mother’s sake I just hope they don’t bring a dog with them!”