OTTER INTERVIEW with Jules Nolet

By Richard Cranium

Stalwart Otter and Desert Dog defenceperson Jules Nolet recently returned from a business trip to China. We caught up with her at an Immediate Care Clinic in Menlo Park.

1.Jules, why are you here at this clinic? Is everything OK?

I was in China for about a week and four days into the trip I developed this thing on my wrist. I was eating a lot of strange food over there and gained 7 pounds so I thought maybe it was either an allergic reaction or maybe that was where the extra weight went.

2.So did they find out what it is?

The doctor’s first diagnosis was it was from a botfly because it started out looking like this. They told me botflies lay eggs and larvae pop out of the bump. After I screamed and cried and threw up four times, they sedated me and x-rayed the area. They found out it was only a ganglion cyst and it would go away in my lifetime.

3.Will that affect your hockey playing ability?

Well, I never really had that hard of a shot from the point because I don’t practice and I do my famous sweep check with my right hand so I should be ok. I am concerned though that it will harder to pop the cork off of a champagne bottle since that is a two handed thing. Did you know that champagne is just white wine with Alka Seltzer tablets?

4.Oh, so how does this season look?

The Otters are playing well, only 2 losses and the GM’s father yelled at people in the locker room after the game I missed. I think he was a little tense because I was gone.The developmental team, Desert Dogs, are playing extremely well. I like how the new guys play, especially the shrink.

5.You are fielding a team in this year’s Thanksgiving Day tournament. How do your chances look in bringing home the trophy?

Let me set the record straight! If we are fortunate to win, we will just have the trophy for the picture. I will not bring it literally home with me! I think that is how this whole blog started!

6.OK, ok, so how does the team look?

I think we have enough ringers to be real competitive. Bohac is bringing in his 20 year old nephew from Massachusetts. He played an edgy game in high school. I called in a marker to get Gilles to play. We have some strong players from other teams plus our steady array of homeless Otters that have nothing else to do. Ahern couldn’t get a note from home to play and Warner sent this picture of his injury to justify his not playing. Personally, I think he is boycotting and is still pissed that he never got the official keg t-shirt.

7.I’m told you speak at least three languages. How did that come about?

Actually I do speak three languages and think in one more. I speak English, French and Vietnamese. The guys only hear me speak English but they know I think profanity when I’m on the ice against goons. Most people think I’m French because of my maiden and married names but I was born in Vietnam.

8.Do you have a favorite country?

I would live in France in a minute. I love everything about the country, the food and the people. They don’t have very good hockey over there though.

9.What were you doing in China?

I have a patent and needed people to manufacture the product. I thought I could do both there. Here are some of the people that I will use.


10.Can you tell us what it is? High heel sneakers?

No, the high heel sneaker article was not true. (editor note.. see farm club article october 10) I’ve been real secretive about this because I don’t want anyone to steal this idea but I guess I can tell you now. As I said I really love France. My favorite family from France is the Coneheads so I wanted to make some jewelry of the coneheads. Here is a picture. This could be worn anywhere on the body or on a piece of clothing. The toughest part is how to attach it. I tried Velcro, crazy glue, string, magnets and a number of other things. Then it hit me. You know how you get that sticky thing off a new credit card; it’s like a sticky tape of some sort. Well you have it on your finger and you try to fling it but it stays on your fingers. That is what I use.

11.One last question for you Jules…How did you meet the Big Guy?

Well I’ve never met Joe Thornton or did you mean Joe Sakic? I did talk to
Teemu once on the phone.

Actually I meant Big Alan Nolet, your husband.

Oh. We met at a bagel place. He was in line in front of me and ordered the
last pumpernickel bagel that I had my eye on. I swore in Vietnamese at him
and he thought I was flirting with him and offered to give me the bagel.
After that we talked and one thing lead to another and we ended up on the
ice. He coined a nice nickname for me so I sent him this picture and as they
say C’est La Vie!!!